The next five blogs are in chronological order. What follows is the journal of an epic road trip across the USA. Start at Day 1 and following the adventures and misadventures of the Magical Mess and her best friend.
June 14, 2019. Day 1.
It is inevitable that life occasionally throws us curve balls. That is a given. But how one handles it is the true measure of character. The ball has arrived on the best friend’s door step and she is rising to the task.
Circumstances dictate that she move back to her home town in Washington, Pennsylvania to care for her mom. This, she assures me, will be temporary. I must now take this on faith as being the right and only thing for her to do. But, in order to accomplish this she needs to pack up her three cats and as much paraphernalia as possible that can be stuffed inside a Rav 4 and head across country. To western Pennsylvania in fact. There is no way in the whole wide world that the Magical Mess is going to let her do this alone. So, it is with adventure in our hearts and determination in our minds that we take on this voyage.
Planning and logistics are right up the best friend’s ally. Not so much the Magical Mess’s, however I am pretty good on the fly. Together we make excellent traveling companions. (To be truthful we call ourselves Lucy and Ethel because even with the best laid plans, our sojourns usually turn out like an I love Lucy episode.)
The first task that faces us is how to transport three cats in the back of the car without mayhem taking over. We can’t put them in separate cat carriers as we will be on the road for ten to twelve hours. We can’t let them roam freely in back as the car will be tightly packed to the brim. Many thoughts run through the best friend’s mind and then it comes to her…shove them all in a 3 x 3 x 4 foot dog kennel. You know, the one that looks like a cage. Yeah, that’s the ticket, Let’s do that.
Except, she knows they won’t go willingly. Hmmm… So, a trip to the vet and a prescription for Gabapentin solves that problem. Yes, Gabapentin. Usually used for nerve pain in humans but somehow it calms cats down so they don’t care and are more pliable.
Friday morning the cats are drugged, we shove them in the cage, pack their cat box, kitty litter, cat food, clothes, lap top, boxes of various items, our suitcases and snacks and head to I-84 on the way to our first stop in Missoula, Montana. The muse suggested we stop in Hermiston for one of their famous melons. But, as I explained to him, we couldn’t fit a tomato in the car let alone a melon. He says we need a sign on the back of the car that says, “Packed in oil for extra flavor.” Funny, funny muse.
Going through the Gorge is a breath taking trip. The mighty Columbia leads the way and is full of wind and kite surfers. The sunlight dances like diamonds on the water. We decide to go over The Bridge of the Gods to the Washington side. It’s not so busy and is more picturesque. However, most of the time we only go 40 mph. We have over 500 miles to go before we sleep and we’re only going 40. It’s just the beginning and the thought “Kill me now” runs through my head.
Before heading out on this grand adventure, Beth contacted AAA and spoke with Jeffery who designed for her a TripTix which is a custom made travel plan that comes complete with AAA travel books for each state we go through along with a fold out map (when was the last time you saw one of those), and the TripTix booklet featuring more maps and written instructions plus tips about possible construction and toll roads. AAA even made the reservations at pet friendly hotels.
Now, you would think with all this information plus two phones, one set on the Wayz app and one on Google maps, two smart woman wouldn’t have a chance of getting lost. But, if you’ve read any of my other blogs, you know this undertaking will turn out more like an I Love Lucy episode than anything else.
That’s why we weren’t two hours into the trip when we came to a crossroads where we needed to make a decision. And, you guessed, it was the wrong one. We didn’t veer too far off the mark but just enough to get us going in the wrong direction. Yes, with custom directions, two apps and a fold out map all being used at the same time we made our first wrong maneuver.
After much consultation with the aforementioned guides, we turned ourselves around and continued to head east. The rest of the drive was uneventful until we rolled into Missoula the evening of the first day. I was driving so it was the best friend’s job to consult the Triptix booklet. “Take 104, Orange Road exit and proceed to the “round-about” then take the third exit.” WHAT? A round-about. Oh, how I hate round-abouts. I took the exit, entered the round-about and miscounted taking the second exit. But I didn’t realize this as I was now on Orange Ave. At this time we realized the TripTix wasn’t matching up with what was happening on the road so the best friend turned on the app Wayz.
A little information you might find amusing is she has an iPhone and instead of choosing a female Siri, she chose a male voice who still identifies himself as Siri but we like to call Reginald. Possibly because he speaks with a British accent.
Anyway, Reginald told us to turn right, and then turn right and right again. I’m sure he was trying to get us to the start of the round-about but basically he took us in a big circle and we ended up on Orange Ave again. As we approached the intersection we originally started in, we decided to take back control of the situation, get on the freeway heading west, exit at 103, cross over the freeway and get back on heading east to exit 104-Orange Ave. and try it all over again. This time at the round-about I took the third exit which guided me under the freeway and onto the on ramp heading west. Yes, I was back on the freeway and reading Reginald the riot act … loudly. Back to exit 103, back to heading east, back to that darn Orange Ave exit and this time I took the first exit because why not, it was the only exit I hadn’t used. First day out and lost in Missoula.
After twenty minutes and three stabs at the round-about it suddenly occurred to the best friend to call the hotel and ask for directions. After hanging up she turned and said, “Go back 6 miles and take exit 97. It’s right off the freeway on the right side.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? With all of the high tech and low tech directions, none of them were right? Jeffery and Reginald, you did us wrong, very wrong.
You’d think this would be the end of our troubles for the night but no, it was now time for the unloading of the cats. Each of the hotels charge differently for pets, anywhere from $25 to $40 a night per pet. Yes, that’s per pet. So, with three cats it was going to cost somewhere between $75 to $120 per night, on top of the regular fee. That’s why the best friend decided to just register one cat and sneak in the other two.
We raised the back end of the car and just gazed at the enormity of our situation. We couldn’t take the cats in one by one. What if they got away from us. We would never find them again. We had to take in the whole cage. Hmmmmmm. Ok, then, let’s find one of those hotel dollys to put the it on. Fortunately when you travel with animals the hotels usually put you in the back.
We steered the dolly to the trunk of the Rav 4 and somehow lifted the cage, which by the way, weights a lot more than you would think, onto the cart. (Part of the weight included a 19 pound cat named Smitty.). The dolly was a short one so we couldn’t put the cage on the long way. Therefore it hung over each side by about a foot. Oh boy. This made it very difficult to steer let alone get through door ways.
In order to save our selves numerous trips, we piled everything we could on the top and drove that dolly to the hotel. But it wouldn’t fit through the door so we had to carry the cage in. And that’s when we started our cat smuggling career. It was probably a good thing it was late at night as the cats chose that time to arise out of their drugged state and yowl like crazy.
The rooming adventure didn’t end there. We now had to set up the cat box, feed and water them and get ready for bed. That night we also learned to stuff pillows into any nook an cranny we could find surrounding the bed frame because sure as I’m writing this, those cats would find a way to get under the bed and become stuck.
As the lights dimmed on day 1, two very tired women and three wide awake cats curled themselves together on a queen sized bed and said a prayer of thanks they made it this far.
magicalmess 