This magical mess is delighted and slightly obsessed with books. I started out in life being read to every night until I learned how to figure out the words, then I was off and running. Nancy Drew was a favorite as were Bible stories and tales of adventure. On many a road trip I would go to a different world in my books and the time passed quickly.
In the 7th grade I contracted measles and had to stay in bed. With nothing to do I decided to tackle “Gone with the Wind.” For two solid weeks I did nothing but nap and read. It was awesome.
I grew to enjoy John Steinbeck’s “East of Eden”, which I reread every five years. I don’t know why the five-year increment, but that’s how it always seems to turn out.
The entire tome of Sherlock Holmes consumed the better part of a year; possibly because I was going to college at the time. And then came Agatha Christie. I couldn’t get enough of murder and mayhem. Still can’t. I don’t necessarily like explicit gore, I just enjoy the sleuthing that goes with the crime.
Then I started to pick out books purely by their title and/or cover. This lead me to “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.” Not my usual type of pick but I couldn’t pass up the name. And I’m glad I didn’t. It was filled with nutty adventure, weird characters and the best advice for exploring the galaxy; “All you really need to take with you is a towel.”
What follows is a quote regarding said towel: “A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shin so readily on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow, heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal; and, of course, dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”
Brilliantly written and useful advice too. Ever since reading this hint thirty years ago, I’ve kept a towel in the trunk of my car. (And, by the way, I personally would enjoy rafting down a river named Moth.)
One day, while at Barnes and Nobel, I came across the book title “Island of the Sequined Love Nun.” Oh, I couldn’t leave that one on the shelf. What a splendiferous title, sure to get your attention and make you start the first page. And it didn’t disappoint. Ah, Christopher Moore, how twisted is your mind and I’m so glad. I can’t really describe his books to you, so you’ll just have to try them.
I immediately moved onto “The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove.” Again, Christopher outdid himself with a sea monster who falls in love with a diesel truck. (Their coupling is explosive.)
In wanting to learn more of the world, I moved onto travel logs. So what did I choose to pick up but “The Sex Lives of Cannibals: Adrift in the Equatorial Pacific.” Contrary to the title it truly is about traveling around the South Pacific and landing on the island of Tarawa. I backed this one up with “Getting Stoned with Savages.” I know, these are not the sort of titles one would think The Mess would read, but read them I did and learned a lot about an area of the world that is not well known or visited.
When a friend moved to Florida it inspired me to read “Skinny Dip”, by Carl Hiaasen who writes about life in the Everglades. I picked up this book, opened to the first page and read: “At the stroke of eleven on a cool April night, a woman named Joey Perrone went overboard from a luxury deck of the cruise liner M.V. Sun Duchess. Plunging toward the dark Atlantic, Joey was too dumbfounded to panic. I married an asshole, she thought, knifing headfirst into the waves.” I was hooked.
To this day, though, I am still seeking that one title that can knock “Island of the Sequined Love Nun” off its pedestal as my most favorite title. If you have a suggestion, please use the comment section of this blog. I always love a new read.
magicalmess 