I may be a magical mess of a woman but I try to be fairly accurate with my grocery list. It sits on my refrigerator door and is updated daily. I dutifully take it with me on shopping day. Sometimes I even categorize it to coincide with the specific aisles at Safeway. This whole procedure is pretty organized considering I’m the one doing it.
So, I ask you, why oh why do I now have four tubs of sour cream in my fridge? It’s not as if sour cream is a daily staple. But there they sit waiting for what; a gallon of onion dip, two dozen baked potatoes?
I’m also not sure why I keep buying limes every week. They sit around in the fruit bowl looking all tropical and limey until they turn hard as a rock and I toss them out. Oh, I’ve tried grating the peel, juicing and then storing in the freezer. . . where it sits way in the back until I clean out said freezer.
Or there is the home-made chicken stock I lovingly make. I save up three chicken carcasses, add some delicious ingredients and simmer for up to four hours. I carefully ladle that into canning jars, allow to cool and store in the freezer. Now, anyone would think after all that care that I would remember to take one out in a timely manner to enable it to come up to room temperature. Oh no, not even close. I end up having to quickly defrost the stock. I’ve tried many different ways such as microwaving which resulted in a broken jar and stock running all over the bottom, or pouring luke-warm water over the jar which took an hour to melt. I’ve finally found the answer, though. I go to the store and buy a box of chicken stock off the shelf. Yep, all that for store-bought.
I also ask you why there are five boxes of cake mix in my pantry and no frosting. I actually have an answer to this. You see, I tend to open a can of frosting and just eat it with a spoon. Yes, with a spoon. Not much of it at a time but over the course of a week I can make a hefty dent.
This probably doesn’t compare to when I was pregnant and was caught by the husband and the muse consuming chocolate chips with a spoon right out of the bag. You gotta do what you gotta do. (Once during those nine months, in a chocolate frenzy I tried eating a bar of bakers chocolate. That did not end well.)
I’ve veered off my course of thought. Back to my larder. Yesterday I decided to take complete stock of the pantry and fridge to see what I really had in there. The pantry yielded all the usual staple items but also included three cans of artichoke hearts, one jar of coconut oil, too many salad dressings to count and a can of vegeburger. That was just on the top shelf. I also have a bag of soy curls (what in the world are those and where did they come from), a two liter bottle of club soda that I’m sure has lost its pop, and enough sprinkles to cover a five tier wedding cake (if a wedding cake had sprinkles).
My fridge gets cleaned out more often that the pantry but still, why two bottles of Huarache sauce and a pack of batteries?
I’m sure this list of ingredients would find a home on the food show “Chopped” but I am just baffled.
Now I leave you with my mystery – who bought these items and if is was me, why don’t I remember? Did I have a cooking plan? A special recipe? Was there some sale for odds and ends? Do I ever plan on purging these items from my kitchen? No one knows, especially not the magical mess. All I can say is, be very cautious if I ever invite you over to an impromptu dinner.
(Question – how long can a fancy jar of olives stuffed with lemon last in a fridge?)
magicalmess 